D is for Drivers and Dumbasses

You know when you have something you want to express but there are about five differing issues all at once, how you sputter and spurt, with your hands on your hips, and a look of consternation on your face as you attempt to articulate whatever it is that's bugging you? You know the--"I can't believe... this is simply astoun... You're never gonna guess what..." and that awkward premature explanation simply ends in "GAH!"?

Yeah, well I had that moment this morning while driving to work.

I never intended to write AGAIN (so soon anyway) about my UT driving experiences, but while heading to work this morning it occurred to me that I didn't really address STREET diving in this state. It seriously is something to behold! Aside from the butt sniffing and lack of blinker usage, I am forever aghast at how people drive in town. Not only do a good majority have their cell phones stuck to their ear (Good GOD! I just realized that they are only driving with one hand... which kind of explains a lot... hmmm), but the cross traffic waits until you're nearly upon them to either dart across the street or turn in front of you!

That happened to me more than once this morning--and that was BEFORE I even got to the freeway! Seriously... I was traveling down the road and this gal waits until I'm nearly in front of her to pull right in front of me... what? I'm sorry - YOU had the stop sign... I had the right of way... GAH!!

The other thing I wanted to mention is that DMV rules and road laws are apparently "suggestions" in this state. In CA, we have the carpool lane and (generally) you have a solid line to the right of the lane with a broken line just to the left, which means you can exit the carpool lane at any time, but you cannot enter it until the single broken line appears. In UT, it's called the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane and the toll lane, meaning if you have two or more peeps in your care or pay a fee, you can enjoy "somewhat" unhindered travel, EXCEPT this lane is two solid white lines until the common single broken line for entry and exit. Well, this doesn't seem to apply (like MANY rules of the road) in this state. In fact, there are several billboards along the freeway that expressly address the fact that crossing these solid double lines is not only illegal, it's dangerous... again, apparently this is merely a suggestion... an idea... a "possibility," if you will.

So, continuing my rant, not only did dumbasses share city streets with me, they also drove the freeway.

I drive fast... I do... I always have, but I also do try to obey traffic laws. I use my blinker (except for that unfortunate incident with the Canadian/Lehi cop) and I try not to ride people's rear ends. I tend to give people space and will change lanes if someone faster than me wants to pass. After my dumbass experience on the streets, I saw a vehicle on the freeway not only ride the rear of the person in the HOV lane, but cross the double white lines into the fast lane to pass the slower vehicle and then cross back OVER the double solid lines AGAIN to get in front of them. The funny thing was I was in the fast lane and this same person repeated this maneuver several times in front of me and behind me!

My drive home was without incident and I admit that I was cruising at 80 mph (BEHIND others) for most of the way home... withOUT riding anyone's rear end, I might add... which I just did.

As I was nearing my home I realized, however, that I have become a UT driver. Although I will never enter the HOV lane (ever again - I did it once because of an accident, but I won't ever do it again... *typed with a straight face*), without a second passenger or more, I DO the swerve to the extreme left to let the slowpoke in front of me know they need to MOVE, AND I have found myself (more than once) sniffing someone's rear... I, however, with one BSBA and TWO masters degrees, am NOT a dumbass...Mostly because I will never do the roadblock thing, I move over to let faster people pass me, and I will ALWAYS use my blinker!!

So THERE, UT! *shaking my fist in no particular direction* I may like funeral potatoes and defensive driving, but I will NEVER fully succumb to the dumbass driving behaviors...

PS - I was corrected earlier today that the UT Road Block is only pertinent if it's just Utahrds daydreaming and texting but it's a Mormon Road Block if the vehicles involved are minivans carrying a gaggle of kids...

LOL! I'm probably gonna get so much flack for this, but I don't care... having driven here for nearly 9 months, there is a lot of truth to that!! One of the funniest things I have seen on the back of a "high occupancy vehicle" was those "family" stick figures that were Zombies... including a Zombie dog!! LOL!! It was a dad, mom, child, and dog going after a family of at least 7!! LOL! Sorry, but I found that very funny and precious!!

I really need to do a separate blog and thank the wonderful people I work with... I think I'll save that for tomorrow, even if my drive to work irks me!!

This blog brought to you by the letter D and the number 7!